Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
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