I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
