Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Randomize
