just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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