Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
