Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
im holly from the hills drunk
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
