That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
BRING THE BAGELS
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
