you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
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