ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
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Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
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I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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