when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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