I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
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