So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
