normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
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Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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