I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
