he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
