Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
