i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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