did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Im part way to drunk.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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