It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
You were trust falling into bushes
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
