Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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