He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
