I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
