Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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