Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
