That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
