For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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