Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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