You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
