She is in my trunk
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
