Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
