Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize