Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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