found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
i think my cat just said my name.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
