My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Boobs are out for the taking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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