Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
