you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize
