apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize