apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
she told me i tasted like america
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
