On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
We had to coat check the pizza.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
