Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
