Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I need a beard to bite.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
