I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
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