I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
