You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
