This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
