I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
