I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
