Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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