I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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