just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
my poor anus
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
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