i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
