My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize