So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
