I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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