Jerry, you need to find god
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
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