we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
