I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
