This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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