now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
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