Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Randomize
